It's a long wait 'til I'm through here and done...

This semester I really feel as though I'm in a bit of a slump. Most of the classes I have require very little in class attention/participation, so I find I feel as if I haven't done anything, yet I'm always working on the next paper, or studying for the next test. It's quite exasperating. In addition, I don't feel my grades are up to par, and even if they were I certainly wouldn't know about it as only two of my five classes keep their grades posted online, one of which I only have one grade in due to the fact that the entire class score is based solely on tests.

My muse is also non-existent. I start writing papers more than a week in advance only to stare at the blank paper on Microsoft Word and sigh, because my mind will not spit forth anything that makes an sense at all. I write papers that are average at best and turn them in knowing that I won't be getting a very good grade, and nor does the paper deserve one. But hell, what am I supposed to do?!? I cannot force my mind to cooperate with me, and if I can't form a logical argument, then there is no paper.

I personally blame all the years of fighting over every small little thing which has led me to have no drive in me to even bother anymore. My Political Science teacher assigns a paper on the merits of Affirmative Action and Equality of Result and I know without a seconds thought that I disagree with it, but hell if I can remember why! Other than the blatant racism and the fact that equality of result is practically socialism and nothing will kill the workforce faster.

It's as if I know the answer, but either I don't care enough to give it, I don't see what difference it will make if I do give it, or I can't seem to be able to figure out a logical reason to be against it. It's all opinion. I live in a free country so it really doesn't matter what my opinion is or what out of the blue backing I have for it. I don't believe that of course, not even close. I know the purpose of this is to test my Critical Thinking skills, but it seems that since the semester began I have none.

I tell ya, I get so damn sick of duking it out with so many people, or better yet biting my tongue and keeping my mouth shut. I do both in about equal amounts these days, and they both annoy the Dickens outta me. When you are surrounded by people that believe and are doing the wrong things, and believe me, that pretty much sums up everything college is about, how are you supposed to not step off the right path and join them?

The world sucks... it really does... and it's a hell of a long wait until I'm through here and done. And I can sit here and wish and pray that everyone could just do the right thing and believe the right thing, but it's really never going to happen. I'll be honest, it won't just not happen with everyone, it won't even happen with the majority.

I'm done for today, that's pretty much most of my frustration in a nutshell.

As Spring Break comes to an end, I find myself saddened. There is no doubt that much of my Spring Break was spent sitting on a couch, doing absolutely nothing, bored out of my mind. But I found the retreat from my monotonous life at college enthusing. I am in no way looking forward to the work waiting for me once I arrive back, the work that has stacked up mostly due to my own procrastination. Yes, skipping much of my classes the week before Spring Break was not altogether wise.

I have a speech in Business and Professional Speaking due Thursday which I have been putting off writing simply due to the sheer annoyance of writing a speech for a class I find less than college level. On most occasions, such an easy class would be a delight. However, this teacher stresses far too much on the values of writing out EVERYTHING you are going to say in the speech beforehand and NEVER deviating from the outline. I'm sorry, but improvisation is the essence of a good speech.

Speaking involves keeping your audience enthused. If you do not tailor your speech to your audience they will quickly lose interest. That deserves a failing grade. Memorizing a speech word for word and practicing in front of a mirror twenty times in no way causes me to give a better speech. Rather, it makes the speech monotonous and makes it sound like it is simply being recited... which it is.

I fear if I choose to give a good speech I will fin myself with a terrible grade because my speech will be above the expected level. The depressing fact is that this is an honors class of all things! Pathetic! Ugh! I'm disgusted. I took a speech class to fulfill my General Education requirement while I was still in High School at the local Community College; IT WAS HARDER THAN THIS HONORS CLASS AT A STATE UNIVERSITY! *sigh*

My stubborn nature drives me to give a speech to the best of my ability; forget juvenile guidelines and trivial rules! I never much cared for doing work to please a teacher so that I may receive a good grade anyway. I suppose this shall be no different.

As I write this I sit at the airport amidst some very tired people (including myself). I must say, taking the earliest available flight on the time change was not the smartest idea and I do not recommend such to anyone.

My apologies for the three week give or take absence. I blame Spring Break. I didn't want to do ANYTHING.

Best wishes and I shall post more often,
Miranda LV